The Writer's Damsel
by dream453moon
Summary: Abby's cousin Lucy comes into town for an unexpected visit. Tim is immediately charmed by her and wants to know more about her. While he suspects everything isn't as it seems, he doesn't know that Lucy's past holds a dangerous secret. One that could get the team into trouble. Can he help her heal before it's too late? POVs to switch often
1. Chapter 1

_Tim's POV_

Work had been surprisingly slow this week. Miraculously, no bodies had shown up and not a marine crime was important enough to get assigned to our team. I'd managed to get caught up on paperwork. I was starting to run out of things to do.

Tony was lounging around in his chair. Every so often, he'd flick paper wads at Ziva or me. I ignored him as best as I could. He'd chuckle each time I'd glance at him but I wasn't about to give him the satisfaction of telling him to knock it off. Ziva was nearing her breaking point. She glanced at me then Tony a few times. I shook my head before turning back to my report.

He threw another one at Ziva. It hit her on the forehead. I could see the steam coming out of her ears.

"Would you stop it." Although her voice was even, she was ready to let loose at any moment.

"Ah. Come on. It's just paper." Tony smirked at her.

"Perhaps you should focus on work."

"I'm sick of writing reports."

"If you were any good at them, you wouldn't have to redo them so much." Gibbs sipped his coffee as he came into the bullpen.

Tony sat up and straightened himself up. "Right boss."

I stared back at my report but there wasn't much else to put in it. I went back over it a few times, correcting errors here and there. I printed it out and filed it on Gibbs desk. As I sat back down, I tried to figure out what to do next. I was starting to feel Tony's boredom creep into me. Sighing I got up.

"Coffee run. The usual?"

Everyone nodded and I grabbed my coat. As I got to the elevator, I checked my watch. 11:37 a.m. I rubbed my face. It was going to be another long day. Maybe Gibbs would surprise us all and let us go home early.

When the door opened, a young woman stood there looking confused. Her long raven hair fell to the middle of her back. Her green eyes complimented her tanned skin. Her lips were delicately painted pale pink and her make up perfection. Her collared purple shirt was buttoned high and tight. Her skirt was long and flowing. Her trench coat complimented her perfectly. She was goddess.

"Is this the floor to Abigail's lab?" She asked. Her voice was soft but sweet as honey. She was nervous yet confident.

"Ah, no. But I can take you."

"Oh, I don't want to be a bother."

"It's no trouble."

I got in the elevator and pressed the button. I smiled at her. She blushed and looked down at her feet.

"Thank you."

"Name's Tim." I held out my hand.

She timidly took my hand. "Lucy. Lucy Milano."

I couldn't understand why I knew her name but I loved it nonetheless. I took her down to Abby's lab.

"Hey Abbs. You got a visitor," I said.

"Oh! Who?" She ran up to the door. "Lucy!"

"Abby!"

The two women hugged each other squealing. I covered my ears and backed up. As they chatted away, I couldn't help but notice the similarities between them. Their hair was almost identical. Their noses were really close but Abby's was just a little bigger. Their face structure was identical as well.

"I can't believe you're here." Abby pulled back. "Tim, this is my cousin Lucy."

"We met in the elevator. I thought she looked familiar."

Lucy blushed. "Abby was always better looking than me."

"Oh stop that. You're beautiful. Right Timmy?"

I coughed. "Abbs."

"Told ya."

Lucy giggled. "It's so good to see you again."

"What are you doing in D.C.?"

"I'm actually considering moving here."

"Wait. What about Tyler?"

She started playing with her fingers. "Well, that's kinda the thing. I'm leaving him."

"What? Why?"

As I was looking at Lucy, I noticed a purple mark on the back of her neck. I couldn't see much more but I hoped it wasn't that bad. I decided not to say anything.

"I gotta get going, Abbs. I'll meet up with you later."

I walked out. I hoped Lucy was ok but it wasn't my business to pry. If she was in an abusive relationship, she was getting out of it now. If she wasn't, maybe my mind was going crazy from the lack of action.


	2. Chapter 2

_Lucy's POV_

I was thankful Tim decided to leave. I really didn't want him to know about my situation. It was far too painful to discuss. Abby was the only person I could trust. Tyler barely knew who she was. He had no idea just how close we were as kids. Even as adults, I made sure to keep in contact with her.

I turned back to her. "Is anyone else supposed to be coming any time soon?"

"No. Why?"

I closed the door to her lab. I took off my coat and undid the buttons to my shirt. I could see the look on her face as the marks became uncovered. I turned around and took it off.

"Lucy," she breathed. "What did he do to you?"

"This has been happening for over a year and a half now."

"Ever since you guys moved to Georgia?"

I nodded. "He hated his assignment ever since he got his orders. He's been trying to get reassigned for over a year but they keep denying him."

"That's no excuse to hit you."

"I know." I put my shirt back on grimacing at the pain. "At first, it was just yelling and throwing things. He never touched me for so long. But after they first told him they weren't reassigning him to a new place, it got worse." I felt hot tears run down my face. "I tried to do everything he wanted. I wanted to make things easier for him. Nothing worked. Sex was even worse. I had to go to the doctor because he hurt me so bad."

"Why haven't you reported him?"

"I told my doctor but they didn't pursue it. Tyler was making his way through the ranks. I don't know if he stopped someone from pursuing it or not. Either way, after I tried, it got even worse." I pulled my skirt up to my knee. "That's from a vase he smashed into my knee. Seven stitches."

"How could they not arrest him?" Abby was furious.

"I don't know. This last time, I ended up peeing blood. I got so scared." I ran into her arms. "I didn't know where else to go."

"Where does he think you are?"

"My parents house."

"Don't they live in Arizona?"

"They moved to Texas but it doesn't matter. I've already talked to a lawyer who's taking me on without charging me. I've got the divorce papers in the works."

"That's great."

"I was hoping I could stay with you for awhile."

"Absolutely." She looked in my eyes. "But Lucy, you have to promise me something."

"Anything."

"You have to let me tell Gibbs."

"Who's that?"

"He's a cop. He's also my boss."

I looked away. "I can't."

"This has to be documented. What if Tyler tries to hurt you again?"

"He doesn't even know I'm here."

"But once the divorce papers are delivered he will."

My heart dropped. "What?"

"You didn't know."

"He can't…he'll kill me."

"Let me tell Gibbs."

"Tell me what?" A man with silver hair walked in the room. He had a Caf Pow in his hand.

She looked at me. I nodded.

"Gibbs, this is Lucy. She's my cousin."


	3. Chapter 3

After telling Gibbs in excruciating detail all the beatings I'd been put through for the last year, he took pictures of my wounds. I had my eyes closed the entire time. I couldn't stand this but I knew it needed to be done. It was starting the process of getting Tyler out of my nightmares.

As I buttoned my shirt back up, I could see Abby and him talking in the other room. I knew Abby would want protection on me but I didn't need it. Tyler would lose his career if he left at all.

They came in quietly. I could hardly meet their eyes.

"I want you to get examined by Dr. Mallard," he said.

I glanced at Abby.

"He's a sweet, old man. He typically does autopsies." She smiled a little.

"I don't know if I can do that."

Gibbs stepped up to me. "If he hurt you as bad as you say, then we need all the proof we can get. There could be scar tissue."

"Why do we need all this evidence?"

"We need it to file charges against your husband."

I shook my head. "No. No way."

"Excuse me?" Abby looked like she was about to start ranting.

"I just want a divorce."

"He could've killed you, Lucy!"

"That's why I came here."

"He's got to pay for his crimes."

"Abby-"

"That's enough." Gibbs looked between us. "We have to file charges."

"But Gibbs, I just want a divorce."

"And you'll get one." He put a hand on my shoulder. "But he needs to be put away too. He should have never laid a hand on you."

I looked away. "I don't want to destroy his career. I just can't be with him anymore."

"What if he comes after you?"

I shook my head. "He wouldn't jeopardize his career."

"He already has."

The reality hit. Any service member could be dishonorably discharged for domestic violence. If convicted, it could ruin him further. Maybe that's why no one would pursue this.

"I know you're scared. But everything will be ok." His voice was soft and caring. No wonder Abby looked to him like a father.

I nodded. I took a deep breath. "Where is Dr. Mallard?"

Abby took my hand and led me to the elevator. "He's down in autopsy. He'll be so excited to meet you."


	4. Chapter 4

As Dr. Mallard examined me, I wanted nothing more than to throw up. He had x-rays ordered and CAT scans done to be thorough. I didn't want to know just how bad Tyler had hurt me. Emotionally I could forgive eventually but my body wasn't as easy. What if I wasn't able to have kids now? Would I even want kids now?

Dr. Mallard went over the x-rays with me and Gibbs. I could barely hear him as he told confirmed that I had internal damage. Nothing that would affect me now but it could cause problems when I'm older.

Abby took me out for lunch afterwards. Gibbs team joined us. We went to a small café a few blocks away. They asked me a bunch of questions that I tried not to go too much into detail. I didn't know if Gibbs had told them about me or not. I wasn't sure I really wanted to know.

"God, Abby," Tony said. "I can't believe you've been hiding her from me."

"She's been married for four years." Abby giggled.

"You've never mentioned her before," Ziva spoke up.

"We've been swamped most of the time. I don't know much about your families either." Abby slurred her drink.

Tim was sitting next to me. He smiled. "Well, maybe she can come around more often."

I blushed and looked down at my plate. "I don't want to bother you guys at work."

"You might be too much of a distraction for those two idiots," Abby said.

The women laughed while Tony and Tim looked away awkwardly. I tried to hide my face in my hair but to no avail.

Abby elbowed me lightly. "Just kidding."

"But she is definitely beautiful, right Tony?" Ziva teased.

"Well of course." He winked at me.

I picked at my sandwich. It had sounded yummy when I ordered but as soon as the food arrived, my stomach flipped. I tried to eat a few bites but every taste made me want to hurl.

Tim leaned over. "Are you alright?" His voice was low but every bit concerned.

I nodded. "I guess I'm just not as hungry as I thought."

He looked like he wanted to say more but just smiled. "Well, you should take it in case you get hungry later."

I smiled but I couldn't help wondering if he knew. Did the whole team know? If they did, they didn't let on.

A wave of nausea hit me. I got up quickly and ran to the bathroom. I threw up the little food I had. As everything emptied from my stomach, I felt beads of sweat form on my forehead.

"Lucy, you ok?" Abby came in quietly.

I coughed as the last bit came out. "I guess that chicken wasn't very good."

She opened the stall. "You hardly ate."

"I know." I got up and flushed the toilet. "A body knows best, right?"

She had a worried look on her face. "Lucy?"

"Yeah?"

"When's the last time you and Tyler had sex?"

I cringed. "It wasn't really sex."

"He raped you?"

I nodded reluctantly. "Tyler was drunk. I told him no but he was too far gone. He hit me over and over until I gave in. It wasn't enjoyable but it never really has been for most of our relationship."

Abby had tears in her eyes. "That bastard."

I splashed water on my face and wiped off the water. "That was about a month ago. He beat me a couple days ago. I made up a story about my dad being in the hospital and took the first flight here."

She hugged me. "I'm so sorry."

"I just have to get away from him. I'll be ok."

"How can you be so calm?"

I shrugged. "I guess I just have to keep living. I loved Tyler. A part of me always will but I don't think we were ever meant to be together."

"Obviously."

I hugged her back. "I'm scared."

"I know."

"I can't have his child."

"Maybe it's just food poisoning."

We laughed half heartedly. We knew what was happening. Now I really needed to put him away. No child should have to deal with a monster for a father.


	5. Chapter 5

As I sat on Abby's couch, I stared out into the night. Sleep had evaded me again for the fourth night in a row. I knew I needed to sleep but the thought of having Tyler's child haunted my dreams. What if it turned out just like him? What if I couldn't handle it? Could I be a single mother? What if he wanted custody? Was that even possible? Was it possible he would never have contact with his child? Could I even love this child?

I rubbed my hand over my belly and tried to calm my nerves. I was three weeks pregnant, confirmed by Dr. Mallard. I discussed options with him but I couldn't decide what I wanted to do. If I kept the baby, there would always be a chance Tyler would want custody. If I gave the baby up for adoption, there was no guarantee it would go to a good home. If I got an abortion, would I feel guilty or would I be relieved?

As thoughts swam through my mind, there was a soft knock at the door. I quietly ran over. Peeking through the peephole, I could see Tim waiting patiently.

I quickly opened the door. "What are you doing here?"

"Abby called. Said you needed company."

I blinked a few times. He just smiled, leaning up against the door frame.

"It's so late."

"I'm nocturnal."

"You have such a busy day tomorrow."

"I usually run off 3-4 hours of sleep."

"When do you sleep?"

"When I get tired."

"You need to rest."

"So do you."

I bit my lip. He was too good at this game. I checked the time. 2:13 a.m.

"It's really late."

"Throw some sweats on. Let go for a walk."

I glanced back and forth between him and the clock. I didn't want to keep him from sleeping any longer than he had to. Still, maybe some fresh air might help me rest as well.

I let him in as I changed into sweats and a hoodie. I scribbled a note for Abby in case she woke up and I wasn't there. As we got outside, he headed for his car.

"I thought we were going on a walk?" I asked.

"We are."

I cocked an eyebrow at him. "In a car?"

"I never said where."

I looked back at Abby's apartment. I wasn't sure I wanted to be alone with him. I wasn't sure I could trust him, but Abby did. She _did_ call him. She wouldn't do that if she didn't trust him.

I got in his car and relaxed a little. His seats were plush and the comfiest thing I'd been in since coming to D.C. Even for an older car, it smelled like it was brand new.

He turned on some soft jazz. It was something much older than nowadays. I hadn't heard anything like this since my great grandparents were alive. They used to play old jazz records before they died. It always soothed me. He wasn't blasting it like Tyler had but Tyler only listening to metal or the like. It was such a nice change. I felt more at peace with this kind of music. I'd forgotten it even existed.

He didn't say much as he drove. I could see him glance at me through the corners of his eyes every so often. I wondered what he was thinking.

"So, when did Abby call you?" I asked quietly.

"About an hour ago. She's really worried about you."

I chuckled lightly. "That's Abby. Always worrying about others before herself."

He stopped at a nearby park. He didn't immediately get out like I expected. He just stayed and turned towards me.

"You're very special to her."

"We've always been close. Probably because our moms got pregnant around the same time. Abby's barely three months older than me."

"Oh wow."

"We've always considered ourselves sisters. I can't explain it but we've always shared a really strong connection." I sighed. "I miss those days."

"I can imagine."

I looked up at him. He had this look on his face that made me want to tell him everything about myself. I wanted to open up every worry in my head. I wanted his opinion. I needed his thoughts. But I couldn't. Not right now. Maybe not ever. I've barely met him. Could I really trust him?

"Tim?"

"Yes?"

I bit my lip. "Have you and Abby ever…"

He blushed a little and leaned back. "Uh…well…we had a fling for awhile."

I giggled. "But it wasn't anything serious?"

He shook his head.

"Did you want it to be?"

He was silent for a few minutes. I wasn't sure if he was thinking or if I'd struck a nerve.

I fiddled with my fingers. "I'm sorry. That's not my place to ask."

"No. It's just…" He ran a hand through his hair. "I wanted more at one point but Abby didn't. She's still very special to me but just not as special as I thought. She's still someone I care about deeply."

"But?"

He turned to me. His face serious yet open and warm. "Part of me wanted to be with her for so long but we were too different. We still are. Yet other times, we mesh perfectly." He sighed. "She would never be fully happy with me as a husband. I know I wouldn't be fully happy with her as a wife. There's just a connection we're missing to become that kind of relationship."

"Yet you still sleep with her." I covered my mouth and blushed. I couldn't believe I'd just said that. I had no right.

He burst out laughing. "You're definitely related to Abby."

I blushed even harder and looked away. "Oh my god."

He quieted down. My heart was racing and my face was on fire. God, how could I be that way? I just met the man!

He gently touch my hands. "I like an honest woman."

"You're just saying that."

He gently cupped my chin and brought my face towards his. Everything seemed to stop as I looked into his eyes. My heart fluttered as I stared into his warm, inviting eyes.

"I like you being honest. It engages trust."

I stared into his eyes as the thought wandered through my mind. Was he right? Was I trusting him by being honest? Come to think of it, had I ever been this honest with Tyler?

Tyler. I peered down at my ring. I was still married. At least for the time being. Even though the divorce was in the works, I shouldn't be unfaithful to him. But did it matter in the end?

The passenger door opened. I blinked and found Tim's hand waiting for me patiently. He had a gentle smile in his eyes.

"How about that walk?"


	6. Chapter 6

The next few nights, Tim would take me to the park around midnight. We'd talk for hours. He'd talk about his college years and his books while I tried to stay away about my failed marriage.

My bruises were finally turning yellowish green. It didn't hurt as much when I got up in the mornings. However, the morning sickness was getting worse and it last throughout much of the day. Abby was concerned but I contacted Dr. Mallard about it. He said it was normal. He also suggested I see an OBGYN to keep the baby's progress in check. I still wasn't sure about whether I wanted to keep the baby or not.

"Something bothering you?" Tim asked.

It was raining tonight so we opted to go to his apartment. He'd made me some hot chocolate while he had tea. It was strange seeing a man drink tea but if he was content, what did it matter. My fingers swirled around the rim as I watched the rain pelt the glass.

I wasn't sure how to answer. I hadn't told him about how Tyler beat me or the baby yet. I wanted to so much but I wasn't sure how he'd react. I wasn't sure if I could handle opening myself up to another man. What if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore? Would he push me away regardless of the friendship we had?

He sat next to me on the couch. "Lucy?"

I turned to him but couldn't meet his eyes. "Tim, I want to be honest with you. I mean, completely honest. Not that I've lied to you up to this point. I'm just scared about what you'll think. I've just-"

He gently put a finger to my lips. "Don't be afraid. Nothing leaves us."

I stared at him. His voice was like warm honey flowing over my body. I couldn't understand how this man could make me feel so safe with just a few words. I couldn't understand why I felt the trust that surged from him.

I sucked in a breath and stared into my cup. "Tim, the reason I left my husband is because he was beating me." I didn't dare show him the fading bruises. I didn't want to overwhelm him.

He didn't say a word. I could tell he wanted to but he didn't. His brow furrowed and his eyes filled with anger. Still, he didn't say anything.

"He only started about a year ago. Six months before that, he started emotionally abusing me. I could handle the emotional abuse. I knew it wasn't him. It was the stress from work. But I never thought he would hit me. I never married that man. He never used to be like that." I stared out the window. "The pressure from the corps just ate away at him. He needed a vacation but he's always been a workaholic. I tried to make life easier for him at home. I quit my job, I did things how he asked, I cooked his favorite meals. Hell, I even tried out recipes on fancy dishes so he might enjoy something I did." I sighed. "He never noticed. All he did was yell at something I'd done wrong. The vase was dirty, the hadn't been put away, the bed had a wrinkle in it. It just got worse the longer it went on."

He ran his fingers over my hands. "He never should have laid a hand on you."

"I know." I scooted closer to him. "I don't blame myself. I don't even blame him. In some ways, I think the man I married is still inside him." I played with my ring. "We used to be in love. Madly in love. He always made me feel like I was 17. When he got transferred to Georgia, he became what he is."

He stroked the back of my hand with his thumb. "I wish I could take it all away."

I blinked back tears. "I wanted that more than anything for Tyler. I wanted him to relax and unwind. I wanted to take away all the pressure and stress."

I turned my face towards his. He was close enough that with just the right movement, our lips would touch. I wanted to taste him. I wanted to feel his skin on mine. I needed a mans gentle touch. I wanted everything from him but I couldn't. Not now. Not with the bruises and the baby.

"I don't even know if he knew what he was doing most days," I whispered. "He never apologized for anything. He never did the normal song and dance of gifts and broken promises to never do it again."

Tim's hand clenched hard. His knuckles went white. "That bastard."

I turned completely towards him. "There's nothing we can do to change it. Lord knows I tried."

"He deserves to rot in hell!"

I could tell he was close to exploding. I'd overloaded him with information. I knew this would happen but I just _had_ to tell him. Now he was almost on a rampage.

I searched his face for a way to calm him. "Tim, please-"

He got up and paced around the room. He was muttering to himself but I could hardly make out what he was saying. My heart was racing. I hadn't meant to upset him this much. I didn't want him to be like this.

"Tim."

"What?" He yelled.

I could feel my eyes close and my body flinch. No. I didn't want this. I wasn't scared of him! I knew Tim would never hurt me. I knew he wasn't angry with me. Why did my own body have to betray me?

"Oh my god." He fell to his knees in front of me.

"It was a habit."

He gritted his teeth. "I shouldn't have done that."

"Tim, it's ok."

"I'll kill him for what he did to you."

I touched his arms. "I'm safe now." He looked up at me. "I've never felt this safe before. Not even before all of this started happening. Please know that."

He blinked a few times. "You mean that?"

I nodded. "Being here, talking to you, there's a safeness and security I constantly feel. I never knew this kind of safety existed."

He pulled me into his arms. It wasn't tight but it was firm. It was warm and comforting. I felt like I could tell him anything and everything. My whole body melted into his. I wrapped my arms around him tightly. I couldn't let this end. I didn't want this feeling to end.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered.

"Don't be." I pulled back. "But Tim, there's something else you need to know."

"What is it?"

"I'm four weeks pregnant."


	7. Chapter 7

_Tims POV_

I gently tucked her into my bed. She moved around as I placed the covers over her but thankfully she didn't wake. I brushed the hair from her face before leaving. I wanted to stay and hold her all night. I wanted to watch over her as she dreamt. The child-like look on her face was pure innocence. She was exhausted from dealing with this bastard and it was finally catching up to her. I just hoped she would rest easy tonight.

I couldn't believe what that bastard had done to her. She was so beautiful, so charming. She deserved to be treated like a queen-no, a goddess. Instead he treated her nothing more than a piece of trash. She didn't blame him but I did. No man should ever put his hands on a woman. Especially his own wife. Now she was terrified of him all because he couldn't grow a pair.

I flipped on the TV and sunk down into the couch. I turned it down low but I couldn't pay attention. Images of her frightened and ashamed ran through my head. Her cowering in a corner as the bastard beat her to a pulp. Then how he forced her into bed each night. Raping her over and over. He never apologized for his actions.

All she wanted was to make him happy. He clearly didn't care for her feelings. She deserved so much more than him. She deserved everything she wanted and more.

Four weeks pregnant. Did the bastard even know? Probably not. She didn't deserve to have a monsters child. The child didn't deserve to have a monster as a father. Even if the bastard got convicted, he could still get out and torment them. He could fight for custody and he could even win.

I cringed at the thought of her and her child fleeing from place to place. Always trying to escape him but never being able to stop looking over her shoulder. Would she ever be able to stop running?

I punched the pillow next to me. "Fucking bastard."

I could hear her moving around. I wanted nothing more than to take her in my arms and kiss away the pain. I wanted to keep her out of his evil clutches. I wanted to rub her belly and tell her that she wouldn't have to worry about being a single other. I wanted to show her that I was going to be there every step of the way.

I chuckled softly. "You barely know her and you've completely fallen for her."

It was true. There was no denying my instant attraction to her. Ever since the elevator, I've wanted to pick her brain and know everything possible about her and more. When I saw the mark on her neck, I wanted her to tell me who hurt her. I wanted to kill the bastard even more now than ever. Hopefully it would be an easy divorce but with how far gone he was, the chances were slim.

I ran a hand through my hair. "This couldn't be any worse."

I could hear her whimpering in the next rom. I could hardly make out the muffled cries. I quickly shut off the TV and ran to her side. She was thrashing around. The covers were halfway down her body. I couldn't help but worry that she was trying to fight him off in her sleep.

"No!" I could see the tears running down her face. "Tim!"

Why was she calling my name? Was she calling for help in the darkest parts of her nightmares?

As I sat on the edge of the bed, she reached out a grabbed my wrist. "Come back."

Her lips quivered as more tears ran down her face. I couldn't stand seeing her like this. My heart was breaking at the sight. I got under the covers and pulled her into my arms.

"Shush." I combed my fingers through her hair as she continued to thrash. "It's ok, Lucy. I'm here."

She started to relax. I pulled her closer. Her body turned towards mine and she wiggled closer. I could feel her breath on my bare chest.

"You're safe now."

Her breathing evened out. Soon she was completely still. I wiped the tears from her face.

"I won't let anyone hurt you ever again." I kissed the top of her head gently. "I promise."


	8. Chapter 8

I felt her stir against my arm. I peeked at her, not wanting to fully wake up yet. I watched as she tried to get comfortable again. I smiled and closed my eyes. Then she shot up and ran for the bathroom. I could hear her throwing up violently.

I rubbed my eyes and went to check on her. She was bent over the toilet. She looked a little pale. Her entire body shook as the contents emptied out of her. I held her hair back and rubbed my hand up and down her spine. Once she finished, she leaned against me.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

I rubbed her back gently. "Pretty sure you can't control morning sickness."

"I just made a mess out of your toilet."

I leaned over and flushed. "All gone."

"You know what I mean."

"And believe me, it's been through worse."

She rubbed her eyes. "I can't believe I crashed here."

"You needed your rest. You were out ten minutes into the movie.

"Was not."

I chuckled. "Yes you were."

She stuck her tongue out at me. I wanted to take that tongue and shove it back in her mouth. I wanted to claim that mouth as mine. She was beautiful and witty. I needed to show her.

"I hate being a pain."

"What are you talking about?"

"Just making things awkward for you."

"How so?"

"Well," she glanced around. "I mean, I take over your bed and then I throw up the next morning."

God, this woman was so cute with how much she cared about the little stuff. I knew it was partially because of Tyler but even then it didn't really feel like it. She was worried about everyone else. She truly was related to Abby.

I brushed a lock of hair out her eyes. "You're anything but a pain. You're truly a delight to have around."

She blushed a little and elbowed me lightly. She got up and washed her face. I got up and stood in the doorway. Watching her felt normal. It didn't feel awkward like any other girlfriends I'd had. It didn't seem forced or annoying.

The bags under her eyes weren't as puffy as they had been the last few days. Hopefully that was meaning she was growing more comfortable with her surroundings. Hopefully her mind was starting to ease up a bit and letting her sleep longer during the night.

As she looked in the mirror, she was silent. I couldn't tell what she was thinking but I felt the need to wrap my arms around her. I wanted to tell her just how amazing she looked. I wanted to make her believe it. I wanted her to know that everything would be ok. But would she accept it coming from me?

She rubbed her belly and turned where her side was towards the mirror. A small bump was starting to form but it took a few seconds for me to notice. A flash appeared of her with a swollen belly and the baby kicking. She would probably be tired and maybe even cranky. All I could see was her glowing in my bathroom as the baby's due date neared. She was just as beautiful in the future as she was now.

"What're you thinking?" She looked at me with shy eyes.

I walked over and turned her towards the mirror. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I rubbed her belly gently. I rested my chin on top of her head.

"Just how beautiful you are."

"Liar."

"You are. Beautiful both inside and out. You'll be even more beautiful as the baby grows inside of you. You'll glow each day once you're able to hold your child."

She blushed and stared down at her belly. "You think so?"

"I know so."

She elbowed me lightly. "You're too sweet for your own good."

I heard my phone go off and ran to get it. Who knew what Gibbs wanted.

"McGee," I answered.

"Have you seen Lucy?" It was Abby. "She's not here and my key is missing. She hasn't called or left me a note. McGee, what if she's hurt somewhere? What if Tyler found her? What if she was kidnapped by a maniac?" She kept rambling at high intensity.

"Abby. Abby!" She quieted. "She fell asleep on my couch last night. We were watching a movie and passed out. She's fine."

"Is she ok?"

I glanced at her. "She's fine. We just got up."

"She's not sick or anything?"

"Is my cooking that bad?"

"McGee."

"I'm kidding. She had a little morning sickness but she's fine now."

She paused. "You know?"

"Yeah."

There was another long pause. "Did you find out this morning?"

"No. She told me last night."

Another long pause. "She trusts you a lot, McGee. Don't screw it up." She hung up.

I closed my phone. I knew Abby was just protective after everything with Tyler. I knew she wasn't thrilled that someone else was trying to take care of Lucy. Still, Lucy had opened up to me. I hadn't asked nor had I pried for information. I wanted her to be comfortable enough to tell me herself. What Lucy told me was her decision. I wanted to know so much more but pressuring Lucy would only make her distance herself from me. It might even push her over the edge.

"What did she say?"

I turned to her. "She's just worried about you."

"I should've gone home. I didn't want to worry her."

I tucked her hair behind her ear. "You needed to sleep."

She bit her lip. God, how I wanted to shove her up against the wall and show her just how sexy that lip was. I wanted to nibble at her and devour her alive. I wanted to show her what real love making was like. I wanted to show her just how crazy she made me.

"Tim?"

"Huh?"

She blushed a little. Had she known what I was thinking?

"I said you should probably get ready for work. I need to get back to Abby's and shower."

"Oh. Right."

I started going through my closet as fast as I could. I'm sure she needed the shower to get the vomit smell off of her. I didn't want to waste another second. As I started pulling my pants on, I felt her eyes on me. I turned around and she was in the doorway staring. She blushed and dashed into the living room.

I smiled and quickly got dressed. One day I would shower her with love and affection. One day she'd get everything she deserved and more. Maybe one day wouldn't be so far away.


	9. Chapter 9

_Lucy's POV_

After Tim dropped me off, I showered and threw on some of Abby's older clothes. She hardly wore what she had in her guest room and the few I had needed to be washed. Abby got a call from my parents. They said Tyler had been trying to get ahold of me again. After I'd told them what happened, they agreed to help me keep up the charade until the divorce papers were delivered.

They were sending me some money so I could buy new clothes and help out Abby until I could find something of my own. Abby said they didn't have to but when my parents decided something, there was no arguing. I wasn't sure how I was going to get a job while I was pregnant. I could potentially work from home on Abby's computer but anything I got would only be temporary.

I'd checked with my lawyer a few days ago and she said the divorce papers wouldn't drop for another week. When I told her I was pregnant, she helped me get insurance of my own so that Tyler wouldn't be able to find out. She also collected the evidence from Gibbs and Dr. Mallard so that I could start filing a criminal lawsuit against him. She'd never done a criminal case for domestic violence of a marine's wife so the process was slow.

I sighed and started to make myself some toast. It didn't sound appetizing but neither had anything else. I knew I had to eat to keep my energy up but the baby never seemed to agree.

"Hey Abby."

"What's up?"

"Do you think you could take me to my doctors appointment today?"

"You got a doctors appointment?"

I nodded. "A few days ago. They had a quick opening. I thought I wrote it down somewhere." I looked at the fridge and the sticky notes but nothing was there. "Huh, it must've slipped my mind."

"You were probably so tired you forgot."

I yawned. "Maybe."

"What time is it?"

"1:30."

"Shoot! I have a court appearance at 1."

"I'll just call and reschedule. I'm sure they'll understand."

"No. You need to go."

"I'll reschedule for tomorrow. I'm sure they can squeeze me in."

"No. No. Let me call Gibbs and see what I can make happen."

"I don't want to bother anyone."

"He and Tim know your situation. I'm sure one of them can help me out while I'm busy."

"But-"

"You can't drive yourself since you don't have a license. Even if you did, I wouldn't let you drive yourself since you don't know traffic around here."

"But Abby-"

"No buts. You're going."

She grabbed her cell and made a call as she got dressed. I pressed the toast down and tried to ignore the nausea.

She was right. I needed to see a doctor and figure out how to control the morning sickness. I still couldn't decide what I wanted to do with it yet. I thought I would be ok with an abortion but after Tim commented this morning, I couldn't help but wonder if I should reconsider.

There was definitely something special about him. I knew in my heart that I wanted to be with him. At the same time, I was scared. I'd already rushed into one marriage. I couldn't risk another. But Tim was different than Tyler. He let me speak as I wanted and he listened to what I had to say. He wanted to hear my thoughts and worries. He acted the way a good boyfriend should.

I rubbed my belly. He made me feel like nothing could hurt me anymore. He knew I was scared and I doubt he would rush me into a relationship. He didn't just act like he wanted to be a father to this child; I could feel it pouring out of him as he held me this morning. I wasn't sure I could handle being a single mom. Tim made me feel like I wouldn't have to be one. He was acting the way I always wanted Tyler to be.

Maybe it was better if Tim was the father. But could I really let him be the father to another mans child? Would he even want to take on that responsibility? It certainly wasn't a terrible idea. He made me feel human and gave me more to offer than Tyler ever had.

I'd seen the look in his eyes. I knew he wanted to kiss me but he wasn't going to. Not until I was ready. But I wanted him. I wanted everything about him and more.

"Lucy?"

Abby's voice shook me from my thoughts. Bread was sticking out of the toaster. I hadn't even heard it go off.

"Sorry. Lost in thought."

"About what?" There was a smirk on her lips.

I shrugged. "Lots of things."

"It was Tim, wasn't it."

I blushed and grabbed the toast. It was barely warm but I didn't care.

"Oh!" She squealed. "This is perfect!"

"Abby, I'm still married."

"Yeah, to an asshole. I never liked him."

"I know. I wish I'd listened."

"Once the divorce is final, you and Timmy can live happily ever after."

"Stop."

"There'll be a big wedding. So much bigger than your last. The kid will be there and I'll be the maid of honor."

"Abby."

"We should add black to your wedding this time. Black and white is apparently a thing nowadays. We'll invite Gibbs, Tony, Ziva, and Ducky. Of course, the entire family and-"

I grabbed her shoulders. "Abby stop!" I felt my heart sink at my own words. "I can't just rush into anything. I can't go through this again."

She held me as I cried. She cooed but the sobs continued. I tried to breathe but I couldn't. Every emotion I'd been hiding came flooding out. Every worry, every unshed tear, every ounce of anger I held, all rushing out of me before I could hold it inside.

When I was able to calm down, she spoke softly. "Tim would never hurt you. He adores you."

"I can't ask him for a relationship. I can't ask him to help me take care of another mans child. It's too much baggage."

"He's already accepted all of that. He didn't turn you away once you told him. He let you sleep in his bed and didn't even try for sex." I blushed. "When he talks about you, he's on cloud nine. I've never seen him this way and honestly, it's the sweetest damn thing I could've ever imagined."

"I don't want to lose him."

"He won't."

"What if he does?"

"I'm a forensic scientist. I'm capable of committing murder without leaving a single trace of evidence."

We giggled and I hugged her tighter.

"Tim would do anything for you. He's ready to devote his entire life to you. It's why he already offered to take you to your appointment."

"He did?"

She nodded. "I barely got it out of my mouth."

I smiled. "Abby, I'm scared of falling in love again."

"You never really did."


	10. Chapter 10

I tapped my foot as I waited in the lobby. Tim was scribbling down something on a note pad. The other women there were giddy and excited with their spouses. A lesbian couple was sitting in the corner by the kids area. They played with the few kids that were there. They were older but it was so beautiful that they were getting to experience being parents.

I played with a tissue. Tiny shreds piled on my lap. What would I do once I got back there? What would they do? What tests would they perform? Would they draw blood? Would-

A hand distracted me from my thoughts. Tim had his fingers laced in mine. My heart raced at the warmth.

He leaned really close. "Everything's going to be fine."

I blushed but his words soothed me.

"Milano."

I got up and instantly my knees felt weak. I hadn't realized I was still holding Tim's hand. He gave me a soft squeeze. He stood up and we followed the nurse back. I bombarded her with a bunch of questions once we got in the room. She said the were going to run some tests and see how far along I was. They were going to do an ultrasound as well to check the baby's progress. She said I wouldn't be able to find out the baby's sex until I was 14 weeks along.

As she left, I let out a shaky breath. Tim came over and took my hand. His fingers swirled in little circles. It was soothing but my nerves were running rampant.

"Talk to me," he said.

"I don't think I can do this."

"You'll be fine. They're just going to run some tests."

I shook my head. "No. I mean being a mom. I can't…Tim what if I suck as a mom?"

"You're going to be a great mother."

"What if it comes out deformed? What if it has some incurable disease? What if I hate it? What if-"

"Lucy, hush." He rubbed my arms. "Everything's going to be fine. The baby will be perfect."

"It's got Tyler's DNA."

"This child will not be anything like Tyler. You won't let it happen." He cupped my chin. "Neither will I."

I stared at him. Was he saying that he was going to accept this child? Did he want to be with me regardless of everything in my past? What did he mean?

"Tim."

"I know you're scared. I know you feel alone. But I'll be here for you no matter what."

"What do you mean?"

"I want to be here for you."

Tears pricked my eyes. "Why?"

"You're so special. I can't figure out why or how but I just know that you were meant to pop in my life right now. I want to make you happy and I want to share memories with you each day. I know you're not ready for a relationship yet. I won't rush things. I know you need time to deal with things with Tyler. When you're ready, my arms will be open. However, I'm not going anywhere."

I couldn't do anything but stare into his eyes. He meant every word. I could feel every ounce of love pouring out of him. His eyes sparkled a little as he looked at me. He smiled gently and warmly. He wasn't going to leave me. He would protect me. He wouldn't rush me. He loved me.

Tears streamed down my face. He pulled me into a hug.

"I'm so scared."

"I know."

"What if he finds out?"

"He won't lay a finger on the baby."

I gripped his back. "Please don't leave me."

He pulled back. "I won't."

He kissed me gently and my head was swimming. The tears stopped flowing and my heart skipped a beat. I'd never felt anything like this. I'd never known this kind of passion could exist in such a small, tender kiss.

We pulled apart as the doctor came in.

"Well hello! Congratulations mom and dad! Let's take a look at your little bundle of joy."


	11. Chapter 11

A few days went by after my appointment. My stomach was starting to bulge a little and I was actually getting excited. The doctor had prescribed me some B6 pills to see if it would help bring the nausea down. So far, it seemed to be helping. I was able to eat more and keep it down.

Tim was busy working on a new case so we hardly had any time together. Gibbs would work them into the wee hours of the night if he had to. Abby introduced me to the nuns and they were teaching me to multiple projects for the community. I was learning to knit first but it was my favorite.

Abby got me a disposable cell in case I needed to leave the apartment for whatever reason. I appreciated it but the only contacts I had so far were my parents, Abby and Tim. I wasn't sure I would really need it but it was nice to finally start getting some freedom back.

I sat in Abby's rocking chair and worked on knitting a scarf. It wasn't the prettiest but it was wearable. Hopefully I could get good enough to make some baby shoes.

I stopped and rubbed my belly. I smiled a little.

"I hope you're a little girl. But a boy would be fine too."

My head snapped as my phone went off. I'd forgotten to turn it down lower from this morning. I reached over and answered.

"Hello?"

"Honey, its dad."

"Hi daddy."

"Tyler just called."

"What did he say?"

There was a pause. "He said he got the divorce papers and wanted to talk to you."

"I'm sure he was yelling."

"And very drunk."

I gulped. This was what I was expecting but I wasn't ready for it.

"What did you tell him?"

"I told him that I didn't know where you were. Honey, he knows your in D.C."

My whole body tensed. "Does he know that Abby lives here?"

"I doubt it. He's never been interested in anyone in the family. His only interest was you."

I sighed. "I guess I should call him at some point."

"I wouldn't. Until he's detained, you need to keep your distance from him."

I rubbed my belly. "What if he comes here?"

There was a pause. Then he sighed. "You need to look into protection, Lucy. I don't know if you can learn to shoot a gun right now but I'd look into it. Talk to Abby more."

"Ok."

"I love you, Lucy. I pray for your safety."

"I love you too, daddy."

"So, how's my grandchild doing?"

I chuckled lightly. "Doing fine."

"Good. I'm glad you decided to keep it. You've always had great motherly instincts."

"Think so?"

"Know so." I heard mom yelling in the background. "I gotta go. We'll call you soon."

"Alright. Bye dad." I hung up and held the phone at my chin.

Tyler was pissed. I knew he would be but I didn't care. I just didn't want this right now. I didn't want to worry about all of this. I didn't want him to find out about the baby. Not until I had the protective order in place.

I got up and paced around. If Tyler found out right now, I wasn't sure how I would handle it. Would he change? Would he beg for my forgiveness? Would he beg me to drop the charges? Or would he try to kill me? Would he try to kill us both?

I heard the door jiggle. My heart raced but my feet froze. I wanted to run but I couldn't. If it was Tyler, I was dead. Maybe if I begged for mercy, he would spare me and the child.

Abby came in through the door followed by Tim. My knees went weak from relief and I fell to the floor. I could feel my body shake as terror consumed my mind. They ran to my side.

"What happened?" Abby asked.

I opened my mouth but nothing would come out. I could feel the tears falling but I couldn't speak. She held me close. Tim rubbed my back but he didn't say anything.

They were able to get me to move to the couch but I was still shaking violently. It took awhile until I was fully able to calm down.

"He got the divorce papers," I said with a shaky breath.

"That means that this process can start going faster," Lucy said.

"My dad…he said I should get a gun."

"Wouldn't that hurt the baby?" Tim asked.

"I don't know." I wasn't sure what to think. I needed the protection but was a gun really necessary?

Abby got up and ran to her room. She came back with a Taser.

"I think you could use this more than me." She held it out for me.

I took it and my fingers barely latched onto it. Could I really shoot Tyler with this?

"It's probably better you have this than a gun. And this is better than nothing." Tim rubbed my hand with his thumb.

I could barely feel his touch. If Tyler was coming to D.C. that meant I was putting everyone in danger. Who knew what he would do. He might go on a rampage hitting and kicking. He might even get a gun of his own.

"He's coming," I whispered.

I didn't want it to be true but I knew he wouldn't just stand by and do nothing. Once he sobered up, he would come to D.C. and search for me. He wouldn't stop until he found me. But what would he do when I told him I was pregnant? Would it be enough to stop him?


	12. Chapter 12

_Tim's POV_

Lucy whimpered in her sleep. I tried to hold her tighter but she pushed me away. I sat up and tried to brush the hair from her face only to have her thrash around. I watched heartbroken as she thrashed around for the third night in a row. No matter what I did, the nightmares continued. Every few hours she'd wake screaming. It was always Tyler killing her and the baby.

I wanted the bastard dead. I wanted someone else to do it for me before he was able to get to her. I didn't want to meet him yet at the same time I wanted to knock his brains around like he'd done to Lucy. He deserved all the pain she'd endured and more. Hell would be too much of a paradise for him.

She sat up screaming. I wrapped my arms around her and rocked her gently.

"Shush. Shush, Lucy. It's ok."

Her whole body was trembling violently. Her arms protecting her stomach. Her skin pale and her eyes wide with terror. I wanted to kiss every terrible worry away. I wanted show her that everything would be ok. I wanted to calm her with one word. But right now, that chance didn't exist.

I stroked her hair. "It's ok. It's ok."

Tears rolled down my chest but I didn't care. All I wanted was for her to be calm. I wanted her to feel safe and secure like just a week before. My heart was breaking at the sight of her so terrified.

 _So god help me if that bastard shows his face._

I wanted nothing more than to put a bolo out for his arrest. I wanted to hunt the bastard down but Gibbs refused to do anything. He was insistent that until Tyler landed in our jurisdiction we couldn't do anything. We'd filed a protective order for Lucy but when his CO went to deliver the papers, Tyler was already gone.

Gibbs had ordered protective detail until Tyler was found. Ziva was currently with Abby while Lucy stayed with me. Tony was keeping an eye out in his car out front while Gibbs was at Abby's doing the same. During the day, Lucy would be down in Abby's lab working on her knitting or attempting to sleep. There were plenty of times I had to step away from the team to help calm Lucy down from a panic attack after a short nap. I couldn't stand seeing her like this but there wasn't a damn thing I could do.

Her body was starting to slowly relax as she leaned into me. Tears continued to roll down my chest but I was thankful she was at least starting to calm down.

"H-he's coming," she whispered. Her breath was shaky but audible.

"He can't hurt you."

She sniffed. "He'll kill my baby."

I rocked her more. "No, Lucy. Don't you believe that."

She turned her head into my chest and wrapped her arms around me. "I…I can't lose it."

I held her tighter. I fought back tears of my own. I didn't want her to lose the child either. I wanted her to be able to have something positive from all this. I wanted her to be happy.

"You won't."

"I…I can't face him."

I kissed the top of her head lightly. "You don't have to."

Her body stiffened. She snapped back and stared out the window. Her whole body started trembling again. It was even worse than before.

"He's out there."

I glanced out the window but all I could see was darkness. Even the street lamp wasn't emitting much light.

"No one's there."

She shook her head. "I saw him! He's out there."

"He can't get to you."

Fear consumed her as she started to lose the color from her face again. "I can see him."

I called Tony. "He's outside somewhere. She see's him but I-"

The window shattered as bullets came flying in. I pulled her to the floor and covered her.

"Shots fired!"

"On it McGee!"

I heard tires screeching and multiple gun shots ringing out. I couldn't tell where bullets were flying. I wanted to get up but I couldn't risk it either. She was screaming and covering her stomach. I tried to calm her but I couldn't do much as I wanted with Tony yelling in my ear.

Minutes ticked by slowly. The silence was heavy and only Lucy's sobbing was heard. Tony came in my door.

"He got away."

"Did you get a plate?"

"Just the first two numbers. Got the make and model though. The back windshield is blown."

"Call Gibbs. Get a bolo out. The bastard-"

Lucy let out a blood curdling scream. She curled into a ball. Tony dropped to his knees as I checked her for bullet wounds.

"What's wrong?" I could hear my voice trembling a little.

She lifted a hand from under her stomach. Blood dripped from her hand. I felt my blood run cold.

"T-Tim."

I scooped her in my arms as Tony took off. I ran close on his heels. He flew the backdoor open to his car. As I got Lucy settled, I slammed the door and he sped off. She let out another blood curdling scream as he called the hospital. I felt tears fall from my eyes as I tried to tell her everything would be ok.


	13. Chapter 13

I paced around in the lobby. Lucy had been rushed back to surgery. I hadn't seen her get hit by a bullet but apparently she must have. It was the only reason she could be needing surgery.

Had it hit the baby? Was it going to be alright? Would it survive? Would she survive? If she did, what did that mean? Would she get taken away from me?

"Probie, sit down," Tony said. His voice was stern yet soft.

"This is all my fault. If only I'd listened."

"There's nothing you could've done."

I felt my eyebrow twitching. "How did he know?" I kicked a chair. "How did he know?!"

Tony stood up and pushed me. "Knock it off!"

I pushed him back. "Fuck off!"

"McGee, there's nothing you could've done. That bastard did this."

"You don't think I know that?" I got in his face.

"I get it McGee-"

"Like hell you do!" I shoved him and kept pacing around.

"McGee-"

I stared at him and stopped in my tracks. "Don't you dare tell me you know what it feels like to have the woman you love pregnant and going into surgery." I could hear my voice rising.

He took a step closer. "You think acting like an idiot is going to solve anything?"

I scoffed. "What the hell would you know? Always with different women, never knowing what it's like to truly love someone. You can't go 20 minutes without making some kind of sexist remark. You have no idea what the hell I'm going through!"

He punched me across the face. It wasn't hard enough to do much damage but it hurt like hell. I curled my fingers and punched him in the gut. He bent over but didn't do anything.

After a moment he caught his breath. "Feel better."

A wave of realization hit me. I'd just hit one of my best friends. I'd let my emotions get the better of me. All because some asshole couldn't just face the facts.

I sunk down in a chair. My head in my hands as I tried to hold back all the emotions I felt. I wanted to go after the bastard. I had to find him and kill him. I wanted him to know the pain he'd put her through; what I'd been through.

"I'll kill him," I whispered.

Tony sat beside me. He patted my back. "She'll be ok."

I turned to him. "What if she's not? What if the baby dies?"

He shrugged. "I don't know."

I stared back at the floor. "I was kind of ready to help her take care of this kid. I just wanted her to be happy."

"You still have a chance."

We sat there in silence for a few moments. I was grateful he decided not to say anything else. I wasn't sure how much longer I could hold back. I didn't want to cry so Tony could give me a hard time. I didn't want to lose my head again. I wanted to be back there with Lucy. I needed to see her.

The emergency doors opened. Abby came running in.

"Is she ok?"

"She's in surgery." I hugged her tight.

"Tim, she'll be ok…right?" Abby's voice cracked.

I squeezed her tighter. "She'll be ok."

 _An Hour Later_

A doctor came out and threw his gloves in a trash can. "Are you the man that brought Mrs. Milano in?"

I stood up. "Yes sir."

He looked uncomfortable. "She's doing fine. I've got a room being prepared for her. She'll need to stay for at least a day or two."

"What happened?" Abby piped up.

He sighed. "She wasn't hit with a bullet like we thought. The stress from the ordeal caused her to miscarry. We did all we could to save the baby but in the end, it wasn't enough." He kept talking but I couldn't hear anything else.

As I fell back in my chair, Abby started crying and everyone else was silent. I couldn't hold back anymore and let the tears fall. Lucy's baby had died. All because of Tyler. All because I couldn't protect her.


	14. Chapter 14

_Lucy's POV_

Abby took me to her apartment once the hospital released me. I immediately went to the guest bedroom. It hurt to walk but I didn't care. I didn't say anything for the last few days. I couldn't face anyone. I didn't want to.

Tim had opted to stay with me while I was in the hospital. I wanted nothing more than for him to leave but I couldn't muster up the courage to tell him. Every time I tried to speak, a lump would form in my throat. Tears would run down my face and I would silently lie there in agony.

I'd lost my child. Tyler made me lose it. I wanted nothing more than to see him dead. I didn't care anymore.

I gently closed the door to the room. I didn't want to talk to anybody. I didn't want to see anybody. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. If my baby was dead, I should be too.

The doctors had prescribed me a few medications; one for the breast milk to dry up, one for depression, and one for insomnia. They tried to talk to me but I didn't listen. I did want to.

I laid on the bed. I didn't cover myself. I wanted to die but nobody would have it.

I knew it wasn't my fault but in a way it did. I should've just aborted it when I had the chance. Maybe I wouldn't feel this terrible.

My hand went to my stomach. I couldn't feel the tiny heart beat anymore. I couldn't feel it's tiny presence anymore. I just felt the emptiness left there. Tears fell down my cheeks.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I couldn't protect you."

Silence enveloped me but somehow I felt peace.

"I was just starting to really be happy. I was starting to get excited that you were here. I was happy to have a child." My fingers swirled around my belly button. "I was…I was ready to show you the world."

I felt the lump in my throat again. Gentle sobs escaped my lips.

"In a way, I'm glad you died…and that makes me sad." More tears fell to the bed. "I'm glad you didn't have to grow up afraid of the man that was your father. I'm glad you didn't have to find out what he was. I'm glad…I'm glad I didn't have to tell you what a monster he'd become."

I choked on sobs. I didn't want this to happen but at the same time I felt peace. I hadn't been truly alone since arriving at the hospital. I knew it wasn't there anymore but I felt the need to voice everything in my heart. The tiny little being was no longer inside me but maybe it could still hear me somehow.

"I'm so sorry." I kissed my hand and pressed it to my belly. "Mommy loved you. I wish I could've met you."

I heard the door open slowly. I couldn't look at who had come in. I didn't want to. I couldn't face them with the shame I had.

"Lucy."

I felt Abby sit on the opposite side of me. I felt her shift closer to me but I couldn't look at her. How could she stand to look at me? How could she stand to be around someone that couldn't protect her unborn child?

"Please talk to me."

She sounded so sad. I couldn't imagine how she was feeling. Truthfully, I didn't want to know. She was so excited about this baby. In a way, I think she was overly excited. I had wanted to be as excited as her. Even more guilt hit me that I'd never been as excited as her.

She somehow managed to wrap both her arms around me. "Hugs make everything better and right now you need all the hugs in the world."

More tears clouded my eyes. I couldn't take doing this to her. It wasn't her fault the baby died. It wasn't her fault Tyler found me. I wanted to be alone but at the same time I was making everyone else worry.

I sat up and turned to her. My bottom lip quivered.

"A-Abby."

She pulled me to her as I cried my heart out. She cried along with me. This was all Tyler's fault. If he hadn't shown up, the baby would be ok. If he hadn't gotten me pregnant in the first place, my heart wouldn't be broken.

"I want…I want him dead," I choked out.

"I know, Lucy." She sniffed. "Me too."

"But not until…not until he knows what he's done."

I could feel all the anger and hurt he'd caused starting to calm me. It felt strange and kind of dark yet it was peaceful. The tears stopped and every fiber in my body was going numb. It scared me a little but all I wanted was revenge. I wanted him to know how he killed his own child. I wanted him to know just how much I suffered. Then I wanted to kill him with my bare hands.

"I want him to know how his child died."

Abby pulled back. "He'll pay for this. He'll pay for everything."

"I'm going to kill him myself."

"Don't say that."

"He deserves to die."

"And he will. He won't be able to cope in jail. The guilt will eat him alive until he decides to end it."

I looked at her. She was scared and worried yet there was a seriousness element. I knew I wouldn't be able to kill Tyler personally but he would die knowing full well what he'd done. I wanted him to know the amount of damage he'd caused.

There was a soft knock. We both looked at the door as Tim poked his head in.

"May I come in?" He asked.

I nodded and he walked over to me. He sat down at my side.

"Lucy, I'm sorry." His eyes were red and puffy.

I threw my arms around his neck. I wanted him more than ever. I needed him. I could barely do anything but I wanted to show him just how much I felt about him.

"Don't." I dug my fingers into his shirt. "Don't say anything."

He wrapped his arms around me and we started crying. Abby embraced us both and we all cried together for awhile.

Tim would've been a wonderful father. He would've been everything I'd dreamed of. Maybe one day he still could be.

Abby would've made the most astounding godmother. She would've taught it how to be crazy and creative just like her. She would've shown it the darkest parts of the world and shown it how to make it brighter. One day, she still would to any other children I had.

After we all calmed down, we decided we needed to watch something stupid on TV. As we went to the living room, Tim's cell phone went off.

"McGee."

Someone spoke to him briefly before he hung up.

"State troopers picked up Tyler about an hour ago. They're delivering him to NCIS right now."


	15. Chapter 15

I stared at him behind the glass. He just glared into the mirror with this evil look in his eyes. They were red and swollen but hatred poured out of him. Who knew how drunk he'd gotten. Thankfully, the troopers found him passed out in a park about 50 miles away.

His hands were chained to his feet. They rested on the desk curled into fists. I could feel the evil aura surrounding him like the many times before. I shivered and tried to look away but it's as if he knew I was there; like he was directly looking into my soul.

Gibbs, Tony, Ziva, Tim and Abby were waiting with me. I didn't understand why Gibbs wasn't interrogating him yet. I didn't understand why he hadn't already.

In the recesses of my mind, I knew why. They needed me to talk to him. Tyler wouldn't say anything to anyone but me. From what the troopers had said, he'd just rode in complete silence glaring into the rearview mirror.

Gibbs grabbed a folder and started to head out. I grabbed him gently.

"No," I said.

"No?"

I looked at him. "I have to talk to him."

"Absolutely not," Tim spoke up. "Who knows what he'll do."

I turned to him. "He won't talk to any of you." I faced the glass. Tyler hadn't moved an inch. "He's waiting for me."

Gibbs was silent for a moment but he nodded his head and handed me the folder. I grabbed my own bag and went into the hall. My hand was shaking as I went to turn the other door handle. I took a deep breath and walked in.

He barely turned his head as I shut the door. I walked to the other side of the desk and placed the folder on the desk gently.

"Fucking bitch," he spat out.

I didn't react. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of knowing just how much those words hurt. Yet in a sense I didn't care what he said anymore.

I sat down and opened the folder. I gently placed each horrifying picture side by side. Every bruise, every mark, and all the internal damage he caused, all resting before him.

He didn't look at them. He just stared at me.

"Why the fuck are you doing this? You're tearing us apart." His words were coated in hatred and anger.

"Take a look," I whispered.

He picked up a couple and stared at each one for a few seconds. "What's this?"

"Your handiwork." I met his eyes and I wished I hadn't. The two black orbs were like pools of death. "Every punch, every kick…all the damage you caused."

He tossed them aside. "Bullshit! You did this to yourself."

My heart tore a little but I refused to show it. He could believe whatever he wanted but the truth was hard to swallow. He didn't believe he'd done it. He thought I'd done this to myself. The man I knew was no longer alive.

I took a deep breath and reached into my bag. I pulled out more pictures but these were smaller. His eyes widened.

"What the-"

"Sonograms." I gritted my teeth. "Pictures of my child. _Your_ child."

He picked them up gingerly. He stared for a few minutes at all of them. The silence was hard to take as I watched him take in the information. I wanted to scream. I wanted to yell. I wanted to beat the living shit out of him. He didn't deserve to even know about his kid but he had to suffer. He had to know just how bad my heart hurt. He deserved all the pain I'd endured and more.

He put them down gently and picked up one in the middle. It was my favorite. It was where you could see the entire body. It looked more like a blob and it was barely the size of my palm but I could make out where its head would form.

I blinked back tears as I pulled out a pair of green booties one of the nuns had made me. His hands were shaking as he picked them up.

"You're pregnant?"

"I _was_ pregnant."

I put my hands in my lap and curled them tight. I didn't want him to see just how much it hurt. I wanted him to feel it. I wanted him to experience just a small portion of my pain.

"What happened?"

"After you shot at me, the stress killed the baby." I glared at him. "You killed it."

He stared up at me. There were tears in his eyes.

"No."

"Yes."

He stared back down at the pictures. "I don't understand."

"You caused me to miscarry."

He looked up at me. There was confusion on his face. There was a light in his eyes. The black orbs were now brown and full of sadness and confusion. Tears were streaming down his face.

I stood up and my blood ran cold. I couldn't understand why but it felt like something had changed. Something very drastic.

"What's going on?"

I blinked a few times. "What do you mean?"

"Where am I?"

I cocked my head. "Washington D.C."

He searched all around the room. "How'd I get here?"

"Your car."

"Lucy, I'm just now waking up. What the hell is going on?"

I felt hot tears run down my face. "Shut up! You've been beating me for a year and a half and you tell me you were asleep?" I screamed.

He didn't say anything. He just looked horrified.

"You beat me so bad, I ran away! I was carrying your child." I wrapped my hands around my stomach. "You killed my baby!"

"I…I couldn't have." He tried to get up but the chains stopped him. "Lucy, the last thing I remember was training at the base in Georgia. I got hit and-"

I slapped him across the face. "Shut up!" I slapped him again. "I hate you!" I slapped him over and over. "You did this to me! I begged you to stop but you didn't! Every night you hit me. You yelled at me. You raped me."

Someone pulled me away from him.

"You killed my baby! You killed it!"

"Lucy, I swear, I don't know what you're talking about." His voice was cracking. He was sobbing away.

"Get her out of here," Gibbs said. I hadn't even seen him come in. "Tyler, what year is it?"

As I was dragged out into the hallway, I heard him say, "April 2008."

He was wrong. He was dead wrong.


	16. Chapter 16

A couple days later, I was being led to autopsy to see Tyler's body. Soon after the interview he'd been detained and he got his hands on every report filed since I arrived at NCIS. Yesterday, he'd begged my lawyer to let me speak to him. He wanted to tell me how sorry he was and tell me his side of the story. I couldn't face him again.

After his performance, I couldn't believe what he said was anything close to the truth. There was no way that he would believe it was really a week since we'd moved to Georgia. There was no way he could actually believe it hadn't been a year and a half since we moved. His story didn't make sense. He'd been awake during it all. He was nothing more than a liar.

After I refused to talk to him, he'd been placed on suicide watch. Supposedly he had to be put in a straight jacket for a few hours. He fell asleep in the wee hours of the morning but when the guard went to wake him up, he wouldn't stir. He died overnight but by what was still being determined by Dr. Mallard.

Right after lunch today, Dr. Mallard called and told me he wanted to show me something privately. He wouldn't give any specifics about why but did say it might be beneficial.

As Tim got us in the elevator, I sighed.

"You sure you're ready for this?" He asked.

I nodded. "It's now or never."

The elevator opened and we went down the hall.

"Ah, Timothy and Lucy." He came over and took his gloves off. "Splendid timing."

"What did you want to show me, Dr. Mallard?" I asked timidly.

"Now dear, I've told you time and time again, call me Ducky."

"Sorry Ducky."

"Timothy, would you mind giving us a few moments?"

Tim looked at me and I nodded. He left quietly and I almost wished he'd insisted on staying. Tyler's death was still hard to stomach even if he had been a bastard.

"Come, my dear." He took me over to a screen. He put up a couple x-rays.

"What are these?"

"These are scans of his brain."

There was a small white spot toward the base of his skull.

I pointed to it. "What's that?"

"Good eye. That, my dear, is a brain aneurism."

I stared at it. "Are you sure?"

"I'm afraid so."

"What does this mean?" I could barely hear myself.

"The aneurism was located right above the temporal lobe. Meaning that he would have had a great deal of pain towards the end. It would've increased the amount of headaches, an increase in moodiness, and he may have even been delusional." He turned the screen off and looked at me. "Were you aware he sustained an injury while training in Georgia?"

I shook my head. "Not that I know of."

He went over to his table, talking the whole time. "Apparently, a week after you and he had relocated, he was in the middle of combat drills when he hit his head on a table. Supposedly he was falling after a round house kick to the chest and hit his head rather hard." He picked up a file and read it. "According to the report, he was unconscious for about five hours afterwards. When he woke up, they had him examined and he was let go. They let him stay home for a few days to rest."

"He never told me."

"He more than likely didn't even remember it. If I had to guess, he was probably hit hard enough to cause a slight tear that even a CAT scan wouldn't be able to detect. It went undetected until he perished overnight."

His words sunk in and my heart broke. My husband had been dying over the last year and a half and no one had known about it. It was possible the man I knew and loved had never even truly hurt me. Something dark had taken over his mind after the hit. It wasn't his fault.

"So, he had no idea what he was doing?" Tears pricked my eyes.

"Unfortunately so."

I sat down in his chair and buried my face in my hands. I cried loudly as the truth hit my heart. My husband had no idea he was hurting me. He had no idea he was even awake. He didn't react to my screams or anything because his mind had turned against him. His own mind betrayed him to the every end and I had denied him to tell me that on his last day on Earth.


	17. Chapter 17

The cemetery was quiet as family and friends took their seats for the funeral. After I'd learned what Tyler had endured, I informed my lawyer. She ripped up the divorce papers and declared the charges dropped. The naval officers agreed that Tyler was not aware of his actions during the last year and a half. They weren't going to deny him a proper funeral.

The funeral arrangements were a lot harder than I expected. Abby helped me through most of the planning but when it came time to write something, I couldn't find the words. Only tears would fill the papers. Everything I wrote wasn't enough to sum up the man I married. The bruises had healed and in time I would be able to forgive him from losing our child. Before Georgia, our life was happy. It wasn't his fault for the things that happened. It never would be. He'd been a good man and a wonderful husband until his injury. If only I had known sooner, maybe things wouldn't have gotten so bad.

Tyler's family was devastated to hear about what he'd done to me. His mother was sobbing uncontrollably as she begged me to forgive him. I assured her that I held no ill will towards him. I would never hold him accountable for his actions because they weren't his. The beatings weren't his doing even if his body had done it.

As the pastor spoke, I could hardly pay attention. I wanted to cry but somehow I couldn't. At least, not yet. Part of me was glad I didn't have to deal with his monstrous side anymore but at the same time I felt terrible that I still felt that way. I was a terrible person for being relieved that he was dead. I wanted him back so I could tell him I forgave him but I don't think I could've ever gone back to him. My heart sank a little.

When it was my turn to speak, I felt my legs start to tremble. In my heart, I still loved and missed Tyler. A part of me wishes he wasn't in the casket. Yet another part was happy he was dead. A tear rolled down my cheek as I looked at my speech.

I placed it on the podium and looked up at everyone. So many people were crying and waiting to see what I would have to say. The speech didn't feel genuine anymore.

"Tyler was not only my husband. He was my best friend in our best times and my worst enemy is our tragic times. Even before his injury, we fought like all new married couples. We got married a lot quicker than we expected but we weren't about to quit on each other." I looked over at his casket. A flag was draped over and a few dozen roses were scattered on the ground. "He was so excited to go to Georgia. It was a new opportunity for him. He was working his way through the ranks. He wanted to be able to support a family before he got deployed." Tears ran down my cheeks as I faced the crowd. "I didn't know about his aneurism until his death. I wish I had. Maybe…Maybe it would've saved us all the heartbreak and sorrow we feel today."

Abby came up and handed me a handkerchief. I wiped my eyes and tried to catch my breath. I had to finish this. No matter how hard it was.

I took out the envelope Gibbs had given me when he told me the news. It had Tyler's last thoughts in it. I couldn't read it. I was afraid to.

"My husbands own mind betrayed him until the very end. He hadn't meant to hurt me. He hadn't even known. I can't imagine what was going through his head as he spent his last night in jail cell." I looked up and met his mothers eyes. "But he did leave his final thoughts in this letter. I've been too afraid to read it but I think it should be shared between us all."

She gave me a small nod before she wiped her eyes. My hands trembled as I opened it.

" _To my darling Lucy, I read the report you filed and everything that came with it. I couldn't believe what my own two hands had done to you. Please believe me when I say I had no idea what I was doing. I swear I thought I'd been asleep the entire time. If I could go back and change it, I would. The thought of you having our child was both wonderful and terrifying to me. I'm so sorry my actions caused you to miscarry. I will never be able to tell you or show you just how truly sorry I am. I wish I could've been the husband you always wanted this past year and a half. I wish you hadn't seen the monster I apparently became. But Lucy, I love you more than life itself. I love the way you dance while you cook. I love how you always tried to make me smile after a tough day of training. I love that even when you were angry, I could somehow get you to smile. I love everything about you, Lucy. You are my whole life and I wish I could change what happened to you_."

I had to stop and breathe. Abby came up behind me and gave me a small squeeze. These were his final words and I hadn't taken the time to let him speak to me. I was a terrible wife and an even worse person.

" _I can't explain it but I feel as though this will be the last time I will ever be able to tell you just how much I love you. I wish I could explain it but I can't. I will never be able to tell you just how sorry I am for hurting you, even if I wasn't aware of it. I will never be able to kiss you again and beg for your forgiveness. I don't deserve it and I understand if you never want to speak to me again. But please know that I loved you with all my heart. I still do. I wish I'd been able to show it more in our short time together. It hurts to know I will never be able to show you anymore. It hurts that I will never be able to grow old with you or raise a family together. It hurts that I won't be able to watch you get ready in the mornings anymore. Every part of me is breaking as I write this. Lucy, I loved you then and I love you now. You were the best thing that ever happened to me and I screwed it all up. I just wish I'd been able to stop myself. I love you Lucy. Please forgive me."_

My heart shattered and the sobs erupted from my throat. There was more to his letter but I couldn't continue. Abby took the paper from me and read the last of his letter.

" _To my family and friends, I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused. I can't ask any of you to believe me or even forgive me. I can't face you nor would I want you to face the monster. I'm truly sorry for everything. You all meant so much to me and I did a crappy job of showing it. If you can, please forgive me. Lucy meant everything to me and I hurt her. I need you all to look after her. I need you to shower her with love and kindness. Please don't hate her because of me. Don't turn her away because I couldn't control my own body. It's my own fault. Not hers. I love you all so much. With love and sorrow, Tyler Jay Milano."_

I dug my face in Abby's shoulder and sobbed away. She managed to get me back to my seat as the rest of the funeral proceeded. I wanted Tyler back one last time to tell him I forgive him. I wanted to tell him I loved him too. I wanted him to know that I sorry for not allowing him to speak to me one last time. I wanted him back one last time yet somehow I knew he knew everything my heart felt.


	18. Chapter 18

_Nine Months Later_

Tim set down the last box from the truck. He wiped his forehead as I looked around. My new home was much bigger than one person could need but I wasn't about to rent an apartment. It was cozy and sweet. The lady that had lived here passed away peacefully about four months ago. A quick close from the family and it was all mine.

I'd gone back to Georgia a couple weeks after the funeral to pack Tyler's belongings away. His parents took most of his marine things while I kept our wedding albums and the like. I donated what wasn't wanted to a veteran charity. I didn't know if it would do any good but if it helped at all what did it matter.

I'd moved in with Abby but as she dated and worked the long hours, I knew I needed to leave. I got a job at a bakery a few blocks away from NCIS headquarters. The family that owned it appreciated my decorating skills and were planning to teach me more of their skills, so long as I agreed to take over their business when they retired in a few years.

"I can't believe this is it." I turned to Tim.

"You sure this is what you want?"

"Something wrong with it?"

"Just seems like it might get lonely at night." He smirked a little.

I wrapped my arms around him. "I think it's rather cozy." I got up on my tip toes. "Much more private for intimate moments."

He chuckled. "As long as you're happy."

He gave me a quick peck on the forehead before I moved to grab us some waters from the fridge.

"So when are you due back at the office?"

He leaned on the counter. "Not until Monday."

I handed him a bottle. "Really? Gibbs actually let you have a weekend off."

"Don't jinx it."

I giggled and took a sip before heading towards my room. He followed and stood in the doorway. Thankfully the bed I'd ordered was set up by the store employees. I hadn't expected them to do it but they insisted. I'd have to take them some cookies some time.

I pulled the sheets from the package and started making the bed. It was the one thing I'd always done when moving to a new place. It was relaxing and it always promised a place to sleep at night. He came over and grabbed a corner. Once we were done, he had this wicked smile on his face.

"What?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Nothing."

We stared at each other for a few moments. He pushed me to the bed and tickled me. I laughed and squealed until he stopped. He hovered over me smiling.

"Got you right where I want you."

I blushed but pulled him in for a kiss. "You're goofy."

"Not as much as you."

He kissed me again. My head was swimming under his touch. He deepened the kiss and I could feel the bulge in his pants against my thigh. Oh how I wanted to rip off his clothes and let him have his way but everything was still fresh. Tyler's death was still too new.

I pushed him back gently. "Now now. Didn't your mother ever tell you not to hit on a widow?"

He laughed and got up. He helped me up and I continued to make the bed.

I wanted to be with Tim but I was still having nightmares about Tyler. The monster he had been still haunted me but when I would wake up I would read his letter and cry. I knew he hadn't meant to hurt me. Part of me wanted him to come back so I could tell him how much I had loved him. I wanted to be back in his arms some nights but most others I yearned to be in Tim's. I wasn't sure what I wanted and that wasn't fair to Tim. It's why I asked him to wait until I was completely ready to move on.

Tyler's family and I had decided it was best for all of us to go our separate ways. They weren't comfortable around me because of his wrongdoings and I wasn't comfortable around them because of his death. Since we hadn't had children, it just made sense to leave the past in the past.

"I'm sorry. I know better." He awkwardly scratched his head.

I kissed his cheek. "Don't be."

He took my hand and held it to his chest. "Lucy, I-"

I kissed him quickly. "Tim, I'm scared."

"I know."

"I want to be with you."

He tipped my chin up. "Only when you're ready."

"Maybe I am."

He searched my face. "Are you sure?"

"Don't expect anything to go quickly."

He smiled and kissed me. "Then we should celebrate your new home with some dinner and wine."

"Where are you thinking?"

"That's a surprise."

He took me in his arms and kissed me gently. I could feel the love wanting to surge out of him and do so much more. Part of me wanted him to. This felt right even though I was still dealing with losing my first husband. I wasn't sure I was really ready but I knew I wanted Tim. If he could love me after everything, I knew I couldn't let him walk away. I felt safe with him. I felt needed. I felt the way Tyler and I had when we first started dating yet it was so much more. It might take me awhile to fully move on from my first marriage but I was ready to start healing with Tim.

 _Tim's POV_

I couldn't believe she was finally ready to let me in. The last several months had been difficult and heart wrenching. There were plenty of days she didn't want me to be around after she learned the truth. It hit her hard and it was hard to watch her during the funeral. Abby had suggested I not come but I wanted to be close by even if she couldn't see me.

I knew it would take time before she was truly ready to move on but I wasn't about to let my chance to begin to show her how wonderful she is pass by. I was ready to show her how amazing she was-no; more than ready. I knew I'd have to go slow but I was ready for that. I only wanted her to be happy. I'd do everything I could to make sure she was always smiling.


End file.
